Full Circle

I find it interesting that just before I am to return to the States I have returned first to where I began my trip. Mark left this afternoon to return to Guatemala. He will fly back to the States from Guatemala City, which takes him back to the beginning of his summer in Central America. I am once again in Eva's apartment while Eva is out of the country, which brings me back to how I began my summer here. I have truly come full circle.

Now, I am packing my bags for the last time with the new challenge of finding creative ways to get my various gifts and souvenirs to fit into bags that were already tightly packed when I arrived. I really need to work on my packing skills at the beginning of my trips lol. The good news is I won't have to single-handedly maneuver my heavy bags too much. Delmy and her son Fernando have officially agreed to take me to the airport Sunday morning. I'm very grateful for the gesture but I feel bad because my flight leaves San Salvador at 6:30AM which means we'll have to leave between 2:30 and 3:00 AM. It's just the latest of many kindnesses from Delmy and her family that I sincerely wish I could repay and perhaps someday I will be able to.

For now, I am enjoying the down time before returning to life in DC and dealing with all the things that had to be put off while I was out of the country. As my many friends who also spent their summers abroad return and begin the process of settling back in, I look forward to my return that much more.

I've found that saying goodbye has been harder than I thought it would be in some cases. At our farewell party this week I found myself tearing up at the thought of saying goodbye to Delmy. I also found saying goodbye to Mark this afternoon surprisingly hard. I know I'm going to see him in the coming weeks but for some reason I felt a certain sense of loss because I know we are unlikely to be able to share the same type of time with each other once we return to our "real" lives in DC.

Despite the many mental and emotional challenges I've faced this summer, I've developed several friendships that I sincerely hope to be able to continue after I've returned to the US. The one positive is that one goodbye, at least, has been delayed because our good friend Gabby will be visiting us in Washington in the coming months for a whole week. I can't wait to take her around DC for her first visit to that city and repay her for her time and effort in making us feel welcome.

For now, I am off to pack and sleep and I look forward to standing on US soil again. Just 28 hours until I am on my way to the airport and then home.

The Last Hurdle

Mark and I jumped our last hurdle today at work. We presented our findings to date at the USAID offices to people from the Democracy and Governance Office as well at the Strategic Planning Office. I'm not going to lie, I was terribly nervous. I really didn't eat anything substantial all day and I'm betting if I had needed to shake hands with anyone they would have felt me trembling. Luckily greetings here are a kiss on the cheek so I dodged a bullet there.

In reality the presentation went very well. It was obvious that everyone was pleasantly surprised with the results of our work and our analysis of the mediation programs. The report is still not done and Mark and I will have to complete it after returning to DC because we are still missing some very important numbers. Just the same, our USAID audience was very pleased with the progress to date and even expressed surprise at how much we accomplished in just a couple of months. Interest has been expressed on several sides in distributing our final report, which I think would be excellent. Our humble contribution would be one of the few examples of a quantitative analysis of a mediation program made publicly available for quite some time.

Once that stressful, though ultimately positive, experience was over, Mark and I returned to the office for the last time. With the presentation given and no chance of getting the missing data before we leave, or even in the coming weeks due to some major events, Mark and I are left with nothing more we can do here. I know I'm excited to take a couple of days off and away from the office before returning to pretty much jump into classes.

We also took tonight to have our "ultimas pupusas en El Salvador" with Delmy and her son Fernando. I have grown very fond of Delmy and her children and I must admit I am going to miss them. They're warmth and friendliness has been one of the highlights of my time here. If I can work with someone half as capable and friendly as Delmy in every job I have in the future, I will consider myself uncommonly lucky.

Tomorrow I will finish packing and rest up for the always long and stressful process of flying internationally. I am fully expecting this to be a good trip home. I will have family to greet me at the airport and I look forward to seeing all of my friends in the coming weeks.

This summer has had its ups and downs but luckily the positives outweigh the negatives. I knew from the beginning that this was going to be a learning experience and I was not disappointed.

Farewell Party

It's official. Mark and I are coming to the end of our time here in El Salvador and we were generously treated to a lovely farewell party tonight. Some goodbyes need to happen sooner than others and we wanted to make sure that we would be able to have a proper celebration with everyone. Eva will be leaving this Thursday and our friend Patricia will also be traveling later this week. We had friends and acquaintances from the Public Defender's Office come as well as our co-workers from the office and a few additional friends. It was a very pleasant time and we were surprised with some wonderful parting gifts. (Side note: I'll buy a drink for anyone who gets the meaning of Mark's gift)

I actually started the process of packing and planning the logistics of my trip home. There are some people I am really going to miss but I am ready to return to all the people I have been missing for the past 10 weeks. It'll feel good to be home.

Drafts and Draughts

Mark and I are now into the "home stretch" and that means the real work has well and truly begun. On Wednesday we were asked to produce a draft of our document by the weekend in order for our supervisors to be able to make comments. After working for two days straight we produced a 10 page (single-spaced) draft of the document, which we sent off just after midnight last night. The real challenge was writing sections with information that remains incomplete as we wait to be provided with some data that we think is extremely important for our arguments about the effect of the mediation programs on the efficiency of the Salvadoran justice system. All we could do was note the gap and move on. This did prevent us from being able to write our conclusions and the executive summary our contacts at USAID have expressed the most interest in.

I have to say, I don't think I have ever appreciated Mark's superior professional experience until this week. He has been invaluable in helping to keep me grounded in the realities of how projects and evaluations usually work in the "real" world. My frustration has been all but boundless on countless occasions and Mark has had the unenviable job of breaking through my idealistic perfectionism and reminding me that I will face these challenges for the rest of my career so I might as well learn to accept the limitations and work around them. It's been a hard won lesson but, I am sure, a lesson I would have learned sooner rather than later. That is not to say, however, that I will not be frustrated when confronted by these challenges. I just hope it means I will be able to resign myself to the limitations and find creative ways to work around them.

We will be spending the majority of this weekend continuing to polish the draft and begin the process of extrapolating the conclusions we can make at this stage in our process. We expect to get the comments from our supervisors on Monday and spend the rest of Monday and Tuesday getting the product as far as we possibly can with the information we have. Wednesday we have scheduled a meeting at USAID to present the report (ideally the finished product but we may have to settle for less). Eva leaves town Thursday so, come hell or high water we present what we have Wednesday. Mark and I are already resigning ourselves to the possibility of needing to finalize the report after returning to Washington.

The past week has not been ALL work, however. We have been able to squeeze in a few, much needed, nights out and a few equally necessary drinks. We went to see the new Batman movie with Delmy and her kids a few nights ago. They're always a fun bunch and that was a very well timed night out.

Thursday night Mark and I also briefly met with an acquaintance of Eva's who shares a surprising common interest with me. He is deeply fascinated by all things Celtic. Now, those of you who know me well are well aware of my love of Celtic music. Slightly less well known is my interest in the myths and traditions of the Celts, especially the Irish for obvious reasons. Interestingly, this friend of Eva, a native Salvadoran, shares this interest and is extremely knowledgeable on the subject. Eva has been trying to get us to meet for the majority of the summer but it had not panned out until this week. It was an unlikely encounter that was certainly fascinating.

Two Weeks Left

I know. I know. I've been a horrible blogger recently. It's not for lack of wanting to say something as much as it has been a lack of something to say. Life moves along the same as it has for several weeks now. Mark and I are still struggling to get the information we need; let alone write our report. This was complicated by the recent week of vacation here in San Salvador.

This past week was the festival of the patron saint of San Salvador, which meant the city almost entirely shut down and emptied as everyone left for vacation. Ricardo was kind enough to share his first day of vacation with us by taking us to the Mayan ruins. The following Tuesday our friend and co-worker Gabby took us to Suchitoto. A lovely town a short drive from San Salvador and a strong-hold of the communist party. I swear I have never seen so much red in my life. Even the mayor's office was painted red and white. During the war the area was a strong-hold of the rebels and that loyalty continued once the FMLN became a political party. We didn't stay long because the day was oppressively hot but we did get to walk around the lovely (and very clean) town and enjoy a very nice lunch at a hotel that overlooks the lake. Besides these two outings, Mark and I stayed close to home and did work. I was actually content to stay home the majority of the time because I had the house to myself so my schedule was entirely my own and I got some much needed down time.

We will return to the office and our regular schedule tomorrow in the beginning of our final push to the end. In approximately 10 days Mark and I will need to complete our research and write our report. We will also have a final meeting with USAID to present the product of our time here.
Mark, ever longing for a beach is trying earnestly to find the means and time to make a final weekend trip to Honduras. I'm highly skeptical that the timing and logistics will work out but I've wished him luck.

Exactly 14 days from now I will finally be comfortably back in my own apartment and I can't wait. My mom and sister should be in town and I'm looking forward to seeing them. I also miss my cat something terrible. At least he doesn't charge me from dark corners in an attempt to make my heart jump out of my chest (long story, suffice it to say the dog of the house and I are not on speaking terms at the moment). I also have plans for more of my family and a friend or two visiting DC in the months after I get back. These weeks can't possibly go fast enough.

Mayan Ruins

I know my posting has become less frequent lately but that is primarily because Mark and I have been trudging through the nitty-gritty of the data we've been given as we prepare to begin writing our long anticipated report. Today as well as last Saturday, however, were much needed breaks from our work that afforded us the opportunity to visit some of the nearby sites of Mayan ruins. These various structures are officially the oldest man-made objects I have seen thus far.

Last Saturday we visited Casa Blanca with Delmy (the Financial and Administrative Manager of our office) and two of her children. Casa Blanca is well known for its indigo. They process/produce the natural dye and use it on site to make some amazing works of art on fabric. The intricacy of some of the designs is astounding. After watching a demonstration on the process of dying fabric we walked back to the pyramid ruins on the grounds. They were not well excavated, which is an ongoing process, but that didn't stop us from being in awe. Unfortunately the site hasn't been developed for tourism yet so there weren't signs to help give us any information. It was a beautiful day, though, and a wonderful introduction to the many structures the Mayans left behind.

Today Mark and I went with Ricardo (the resident mediator in the office) to a string of sites. First we visited Joya de Ceren, which is the Central American Pompeii. This city was buried in 14 layers of volcanic ash, perfectly preserving it. Like Pompeii, it was a residential area but fortunately the eruption was not as catastrophic so the people were able to evacuate the city. Still, their homes were preserved just as they left them. Any structural damage to the buildings can be attributed to the earthquakes that accompanied the eruption. Corn, beans and seeds were preserved in the ash and the voids they left in the ash are amazingly detailed. The buildings themselves are very interesting. The kitchen/eating areas were always in a separate structure from the bedrooms/storerooms. The bedrooms consisted of raised plaster platforms that they would cover with cushions. All of the houses that have been uncovered only has one bedroom meaning everyone in the family slept together in a single room. Remains of the fences used to confine animals as well as the remains of their gardens have been found giving a very complete picture of a relatively simple agrarian lifestyle. So far, only a very small area has been excavated and it is believed there are many more houses buried nearby.

Only a few kilometers away is the San Andrés archaeological site. This was the economic/political/religious center for the people who lived at Joya de Ceren. The original Mayan name of this site has been lost so it is referred to by its colonial name. This is a large complex of pyramids with a large communal plaza. The two main pyramids are the Temple of the Sun and the Temple of the Moon. Surrounding the Temple of the Sun are several smaller pyramids creating the acropolis complex. This site has not been well excavated and the majority of the pyramids (60-70%) remain buried. The cool thing is you literally can climb to the top of several of the smaller pyramids that are still completely buried and get a bird's-eye view of the site. As a funny side note, after climbing up the pyramids we looked down into what would have been the acropolis courtyard to see 6 or 7 sheep just wandering around eating the grass. Ricardo spoke with a man leading another sheep away from the pyramids and confirmed that the sheep are there purposefully. They keep the grass short and save the people the trouble of needing to maintain the grass. Mayan lawnmowers. This site also has a large and ancient complex for processing indigo. Ricardo pointed out that the plant used to make the dye quite literally grows as a weed in the area even now. They certainly wouldn't have had too much of a problem with their supply of the plant.

Finally, we visited a site called Tazumal. Here we saw the most complete pyramid of the day. Fully excavated and well preserved, this pyramid seemed huge after the other sites. The revelation we learned here was the fact that the Mayans actually built on top of their own pyramids over time. The pyramids at Tazumal are the result of of 3-4 building phases. This is actually fairly new information for the archaeologists who had been studying the site. An earthquake a few years ago knocked loose part of one of the structures revealing an earlier structure below. It was a fascinating day.

I've also updated my photobucket album with a ton of pictures taken over the past month. Here's a new link to it so you can check out all the lovely ruins and beaches I have visited since the beginning of July.

Safe travels to all my friends as they begin to head back to the States. I look forward to seeing everyone again in about 22 days. Yes, I'm keeping track.

Homesickness and Culture Clashes

I've been struggling for some time with some culture clashes and homesickness as has probably been apparent in a few of my posts. These have peeked recently and since I have been so candid in the past I thought I might as well share my thoughts and emotional struggles as well.

I've spent long periods away from the US before, so I've experienced homesickness before. I was expecting to experience the same types of things this time around and I did at first. The longer I have been here, however, the worse some of these feelings have gotten and recently they hit a fevered pitch. After a lot of reflection and a lot of conversations with multiple friends (thank you to everyone - you know who you are) I have started to piece together what I am really feeling and why. This is a normal process for me when I'm faced with strong negative emotions because I don't like to be unhappy and therefore I like to understand my feelings in order to correct whatever needs to be corrected. I have come to a few major conclusions that have been very helpful.

My first conclusion is that my homesickness is stronger this time because my home life is happier now. I sincerely love DC, Georgetown, the CR Program and all of my wonderful friends and I miss all of these places and people terribly. This was actually a comfort to me, like most people, I have had my ups and downs in the past few years and it was great to recognize and acknowledge that I am actually in the midst of an "up" time and it is my desire to continue to enjoy these people and places that is making me sad. Ironic but now that I know it I can express these emotions more positively and productively.

Second, I have been struggling with a few cultural clashes that have been extremely frustrating. Some I was forewarned but in the end it didn't seem to matter as they are all equally frustrating. Most of these clashes revolve around the cultural conceptions of time, punctuality and scheduling. I am pretty much obsessive compulsive when it comes to punctuality and this OCD is very contradictory to the local cultural understanding of time and schedules as fluid and flexible. I know there is no "right" or "wrong" in this situation. There is only what I am "used to" and what I am not. I have my good and bad days with this and I recently had a very bad day, which prompted a lot of these reflections.

Third and most influential is my realization that much of my frustration stems from the common source of the dependent lifestyle I have to live while here. What I am referring to is my almost complete dependence on others for my ability to move around the city. Buses in San Salvador are fairly unreliable and not terribly safe (the most common threat is pick pocketing but other things have been known to happen). Suffice it to say Eva is not encouraging us to utilize the buses that run within the city. Taxis can get pricey if you're using them a lot and my lack of Spanish language skills and my lack of familiarity with the city can make giving directions a challenge. I think it has been this problem that has been the most frustrating and it has increased the effects of the other two challenges.I'm used to being able to independently move freely around DC, which allows me the flexibility to adjust my schedule more easily when plans need to change, an ability I don't really have here. I truly think this has been the cause of so much of my frustration and I am hoping that now that I recognize this I will be able to avoid any more moments of extreme frustration.

My experiences thus far have been too good to allow them to be spoiled by such a petty cultural clash. I thought I would share all of this with you because I know it was a comfort to me to learn that my reaction is not uncommon for Americans in Central America. This is a process I think many, if not most, people go through when they spend extended amounts of time away from their home country/culture. For any of you who may be struggling through similar homesickness/cultural clashes, you are not alone.